After meditating, gusto ko yung sinuggest ni Headspace to set intentions for the week. So napaisip ako at pinicture ko kung ano ba yung mga possibilities for the week ahead:
Category: Wellness
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Bago pa matapos ang May, ike-kwento ko muna ‘to. Nalaman ko somewhere na ang buwan ng Mayo ay ‘Masturbation Month’. Meron palang ganun. Sabi ko kay Kenneth, “Ang May pala ay Masturbation Month.” Nagulat na natawa lang sya, pero na-feel kong medyo na-awkward.
Pagbukas ko ng bintana, bumulagta sakin ang malawak na asul at matingkad na kahel. Sobrang sarap sa pakiramdam. Nakatitig lang ako ng ilang minuto habang nakangiti at nilalanghap ang sandaling ito. Inisa-isa kong tinitigan ang mga punong walang dahon at napansin kong umiindayog sila sa ihip ng hangin na mistulang kumakaway. Hindi maikakaila na panandalian nitong naiibsan ang lumbay at ligalig ng buhay—kahit ilang minuto lang. Salamat sa kamangha-manghang palabas. Sana bukas ulit.
Napatigil ako sa book reporting ko ng ‘Recapture the Rapture’ nung nabasa ko ulit yung isang hinighlight ko.
I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve (or save) the world and a desire to enjoy (or savor) the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.”
E. B. White, author of the children’s classic Charlotte’s Web
May pinapanood ako at bigla kong naalala yung time na na-stranded ako sa Incheon Airport. Konting konti na lang nasa Pilipinas na ko tapos nagkaproblema pa grrr. Pinipigilan ko yung emotions ko that time pero nung kausap ko na ang Mama, wala umiyak na ko. Ang layo na kasi ng nilakbay ko (18 hrs!) tapos papabalikin lang ako?! Pero yung best part, wala akong ibang narinig sa Mama kundi, “Makakauwi ka.” Kahit 99% sure akong hindi na ko makakauwi, ang sarap pa rin pakinggan nung konting hope na baka nga makauwi ako. As a recovering pessimistic, kelangan ko talaga ng mga positive people sa buhay ko. At bilang ganti, kelangan ko rin mas maging positive para sa ibang tao.
This is the 3rd day na constant yung knot sa chest ko. Siguro made-describe ko sya as parang kinakabahan without the dugdug of the heart. Sabi ng Mama magpa-consult na raw ako at baka may problema ako sa puso. Magpapa-sched ako mamaya.
Hindi ito ang first time na naramdaman ko ‘to kaya may tatlo akong naiisip na rason:
I realized that I may have gone overboard with my journaling. Suddenly, I wanted to capture all my thoughts, every single one of them—but I have too many thoughts which makes documenting everything unrealistic. After that uneasy realization, I try to remember what makes journaling therapeutic for me. Journaling empties my mind and relaxes me, leaving me refreshed and unburdened. I think what’s important for me to remember is that journaling is a tool and not a chore. I have to be at peace with the fact that it’s impossible to capture and document everything, that it’s okay to forget things here and there. Except this one. This is quite important. I should also learn to trust my self that when it comes to truly and absolutely important things, I won’t forget.
Categories
2023 Game Plan
THEME:
Sink into the Present
I chose this kasi eto yung overarching theme ng mga paboritong non-fiction books na nabasa ko last year. Eto ang sagot sa overthinking, sa anxiety, sa pag-eenjoy, sa pag-create ng good relationships. When I’m truly present, I only focus sa kung anong nangyayari right in front of me, right at this moment. I’m forced to get rid of the past (where it’s nice to revisit sometimes until you get stuck) and the future (where everything is uncertain, pressuring the brain to do a lot of guesswork which leads to overthinking and anxiety). So instead, I will do my best to let the present be my default mode and only pay brief visits to the past and future when needed.
Eto ang mga sinabi kong susubukan kong gawin nung 2022. Bago ako gumawa ng 2023 game plan, ire-review ko muna:
PHYSICAL & MENTAL HEALTH
Goal #1: Make healthy food choices
Outcome: Needs improvement
Nagkakaron ako ng phase na healthy for a few weeks tapos babalik nanaman sa food deliveries. Pero super nag-eenjoy na ko sa mga vegan meals. Minsan pipiliin ko yung vegan option pero hindi ko nafi-feel na may kulang. Kasi may mga vegan/vegetarian meals na masarap naman talaga.
Gleniz da Menace 