Author: Gleniz

Categories
Adventure Books Mystery

The Devil and the Dark Water by Stuart Turton | Book Review

QUICK AND TAMAD SUMMARY:

A ship is set to sail to Amsterdam to transport a super valuable and mysterious thing called ‘The Folly’. But someone is wreaking havoc and the passengers are relying on Samuel Pipps (world’s greatest detective) and Arent Hayes (his loyal bodyguard) to uncover the culprit. Thing is, Samuel is being held prisoner, so Arent has to step up and do the investigating himself.

This book is an adventure. Na-inlove ako dun sa setting and how the author narrates the story. It’s as if I’m there as a passenger enjoying the sea breeze, watching the dolphins, and being amused and entertained by sailors fighting. Super fond of how the author describes scenes.

Dusk arrived in ribbons of purple and pink, a few stars puncturing the sky. There was no land in sight. Only water.

I also liked how the chapters were short. My Kindle is set to show how many minutes each chapter would take to read, and most of the time it would show ‘5 mins left in chapter’, sometimes even 1 minute. So whenever I see that the next chapter would only take 2-6 minutes to finish, the tendency is to read “just one more chapter”.

I can’t remember being bored reading this book. Impatient maybe. Kasi gustong gusto ko nang malaman kung sinong nag-devise ng plan to sabotage the ship! They all seemed so innocent. Sobra.

Also, this is our book club pick for November.

START OF SPOILERS

Una kong hula ay si Vos. Ang creepy nya kasi pero parang ang obvious masyado. Kaya napunta naman ako kay Sara. Kasi she seemed so kindhearted. Kaya naiisip ko na baka may surprise sa huli na masama pala sya. And sobrang hate nya din pala yung asawa nya (justifiably so) kaya hindi pa rin talaga sya lusot. Gustong gusto na nyang makawala kay Governor General. So andun yung motive. Kahit nung nasa island na sila sya pa din yung primary suspect ko 😂

Naisip ko pa na, with the urge from Sara, si Lia ang nag-plano ng lahat. Kasi nga Promil kid sya. And at one point naisip ko rin na baka related si Lia kay Samuel Pipps kase pareho silang gifted. Mali nanaman!

Yung mga gripping scenes dun sa book is yung storm and nung nagkakagulo na. Feel na feel ko yung chaos. Nung una diba parang adventure lang tapos after mangalahati, puro patayan na. Nagulat ako nung pinatay yung Captain. Napaisip tuloy ako bakit nga ba nag-deviate sa plan si Crauwel? Magtatanong pala ko sa book club Discord.

Kaya naman kase hindi ko napagkamalan si Creesjie, kasi yung pinapakita nyang character is someone who only cares about having a wealthy husband. So I only perceived her as a simple minded woman who’s a gold digger and cares too much about her looks. Tsaka diba nagpakita sya ng interest kay Vos nung nag-propose sya and promised her a comfortable life. It’s all an act pala. Kaya rin nasa baba sya ng list ko of suspects gawa dun.

Mas mataas si Pipps sa suspect list ko kesa kay Creesjie. Pero sa isip ko kasi, sobrang imposible na maging involved sya kasi nga nakakulong sya. Sobrang pa-victim pati nya. Ang hirap din maging sobrang suspicious sa kanya kasi nung binigay yung background nya sa una, akala mo yun na ‘yon. Not until nung na-reveal sa huli yung totoong family history nya. Tapos yung Saardam pala is specifically designed para makalabas sya sa kulungan nya. Tss.

Anyway, nung hindi pa nari-reveal ang lahat, nag-panic ako dun sa fake act ni Isabel. Kala ko talaga totoo! In fairness kay Sara and Arent naisip pa nila ‘yon.

RATING [4 🌟]

While I enjoyed almost everything and sobrang nakakaloko yung culprits, I feel like the ending is the weakest point in the book. Hindi ako super na-satisfy dun sa execution nung reveal. And yung ending, parang, ganun na lang ‘yon? But I must say it’s still worth reading kahit medyo let down yung ending.

Nakakaasar yung magkapatid kasi halos walang remorse. Mej nakakaasar din yung sobrang curiosity ni Sara and Lia nung ina-unfold na nung magkapatid kung pano nila na-execute yung devious plans nila. Parang may halong wonder pa nga. Mas nangibabaw yung curiousity nila kesa sa galit.

Although ang intention talaga is to kill Jan Haan, ang dami pa din nadamay na tao. Plus the animals huhu. Mapapatay pa ni Vos si Arent. So parang hindi ako ganun ka-agree na walang justice. Naging “Let’s just forgive and forget and form a star-studded group.” na lang.

QUOTES

I chuckled at this:

“What brings fine sirs like yourselves down to the arse end of the ship?” asked the constable, putting a dried piece of fish into his mouth. Far as Arent could tell, there wasn’t a single tooth waiting for it.

Power should be a burden, not a shield. It should be used to everybody’s betterment, not merely for the person who wielded it.

Sara: Courage isn’t an absence of fear. It’s the light we find when fear is all there is.

Sammy had once told him that love was the easiest thing to spot, because it didn’t look like anything else. It couldn’t hide itself, it couldn’t disguise itself, it couldn’t go unnoticed for very long.

Click to view my digital book shelf.

Categories
Pals Throwback

Throwback Series #1

Ang nostalgic ko kanina kasi nag-oorganize ako ng hard drive ko. Inaayos ko per category like ‘Family’, ‘Kenneth’, ‘Friends’ tapos per category, naka-organize per year and month. Like this:

Sobrang dami ko pang kailangan i-sort. Siguro nasa 25k photos pa or more. Tumigil na muna ko. Ang sakit na sa mata.

Ang saya talagang mag-reminisce. Kahit wala na ang Daddy (lolo ko), natutuwa ako pag nakikita ko yung mga photos nung andito pa sya. And pasalamat ako sa sarili ko non na nag-take ako ng pictures nung mga moments na ‘yon.

Noong digicam days, college days ko ‘yon, sobrang obsessed ako sa pictures. Kung nabasa nyo yung post ko na Fleeting Dreams, kahit ano talaga pini-picturan ko. Feeling ko pati ang galing galing ko. Pero nung nawala na sa uso yung pi-picturan mo yung bawat event, bawat inuman, bawat lahat, na-conscious na kong mag-take ng pictures. At pinagsisisihan ko yun kasi minsan, yung mga uneventful ganaps ang nakakatuwang balikan.

Ngayon, ang pictures na lang na nasa phone ko eh puro pusa namin at mga niluluto ko. Ang rare na namin mag-picture ni Kenneth kasi duh, palagi lang naman kami andito sa bahay. Pero minsan pala magpi-picture ako. Pandagdag lang sa memories. Tapos gagawa ako ng baduy na slideshow ireregalo ko sa anniversary namin 😂

Naisip ko din na gumawa ng mga throwback blog post (eto nanaman ako sa mga blog post series ko). Kukuha ako ng random photo sa hard drive ko tapos ita-try ko alalahanin yung nangyari nung araw na ‘yon. Parang ang saya non. Simulan ko na pala ngayon. Papapiliin ko si Kenneth ng year and month. Tapos random category.

March 16, 2013

So eto ako. Kumakanta kasama ang banda ko sa B-Side. JOKE. So eto si Sarah Gaugler. Pero ang reason talaga ba’t ako umattend ng gig na to eh gawa ni Saab kasi nga girl crush tapos reader ako ng blog nya etc. First time ko din sya ma-meet so ang saya ko nung gabi na ‘to. Pero parang nagka-issue ata si Saab at yung kapatid ni Sarah Gaugler. Haha basta may nabalitaan akong ganun.

So kasama ko si Nick dito. Si Kenneth malamang nasa Cebu for work. So eto ata yung mga times na kinupkop ko si Nick ng ilang months. Tapos nung nabalitaan kong nasa B-Side si Saab para mag-host ng gig, niyaya ko si Nick kasi malapit lang samin. Si Candy ata yung co-host nya. Hindi pa sila Cheats. Isingit ko na din yung pic namin ni Saab kahit sobrang nakakahiya sa balat nya.

Tapos naging crush ni Nick si Sarah Gaugler 😂

Ang hot nga naman kasi ni Sarah Gaugler nung gabi na ‘to. Tas nagustuhan ko din yung music nila.

Wala na kong masyadong maalala nung gabi na ‘to. Hindi ko na din alam kung sino pang mga tumugtog kasi sila lang dalwa yung kinunan ko ng pics. Ang goal ko lang talaga nung gabi na ‘to eh magpapicture kay Saab. And it’s a success! 😂

Yun lang! Magbabasa na ko ng BOTM namin. Gusto ko nang matapos kasi malapit lapit na rin ang discussion.

Categories
Ramblings

Walang Nangyaring Masama Nung October 2020!

Since madalas na kong tumambay dito sa blog ko, inaayos ko yung mga categories ng every post para mas organized and mas madaling magpaka-senti pag feel kong mag-reminisce. Tapos nakita ko yung post ko nung October 2017. Ang title ay Art Day Fun Day + I’ll Be Careful on October 2020. Tapos bigla kong naalala kung bakit. Kasi every October… Pano ko ba i-eexplain. Basta 3 years yung interval ng mga hindi magandang kaganapan tapos nangyayari sya every October 22. Nagsimula nung 2011 tapos may nangyari ulit nung 2014 (the worst!) tapos nung 2017 ulit.

An excerpt from that post

So napa-check tuloy ako kung anong ginawa ko nitong October 22, 2020. At sakto meron akong blog post on that day. Pero wala namang nangyari, sobrang uneventful. Haha. Nanood lang ako ng documentary ng BLACKPINK tapos konting hanash lang sa buhay. The curse is broken!!!

Categories
Books Insights Non-Fiction Personal Development

The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz | Book Report

In the beginning part of the book, the author discussed how our society, our culture, our families and relationships shape our beliefs and identities. That we didn’t have a choice when we were little. And now that we’re older, he is challenging us to question these beliefs/practices or these “agreements”.

Another thing he talked about is how sometimes people just go with the flow to gain approval in order to have a sense of belongingness. Which is a natural thing for humans. Sabi nga ni Aristotle, we are social animals. But he also challenges that. Like saying no if we want to say no. Or attempting to ask even if it meant rejection.

Continue reading “The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz | Book Report”
Categories
Insights Life TV

4 Stimulating YouTube Videos I Recently Watched

For about 3 weeks now, I have been spending a lot of time away from social media. So ang dami kong na-free up na time. And ang naging result non ay ang dami kong nabasang libro (mostly non-fiction), ang dami kong na-encounter na YT videos na thought-provoking, at eto, ang dalas ko na lalo magsulat sa blog ko. I try to minimize muna yung panonood ko ng mga videos na ang sole purpose ay mag-entertain. Ewan ko. Feel na feel ko lang ang self-improvement these past few weeks. Why not.

So naisip kong mag-list ng four videos na nagkaron ng magandang contribution sa buhay ko recently. Parang ang naging theme netong November sakin ay self-awareness and self-improvement. Na feeling ko mawiwirdohan yung mga may kilala sakin kasi medyo not very like me. Nevertheless, nagsimula ‘to sa first YT video on this list:

  1. JENN IM | 10 Books You Need to Read

So dito nga nagsimula ang lahat. Feeling ko kung hindi sya YouTuber, ang galing nyang saleswoman. Bentang benta sakin lahat ng books na ni-recommend nya. I’m sure naka-encounter na kayo ng YouTuber na annoying pero hindi sya ganon. Ang totoo nya lang magsalita and yung perkiness nya sa videos is just the right amount.

Kaya din ako na-attract sa channel nya kase may mix of cooking, life tips, self-reflection and yun nga, book recommendations. I think yung pinaka-nagustuhan ko sa kanya eh yung vulnerability nya. Dahil sa video na ‘to, binasa ko agad yung Digital Minimalism and as mentioned a couple of times already dito sa blog ko, life-changing sya for me. At kaya rin ako nakagawa ng 5-part review (more like a book report) about sa book na yon. You can read it here.

2. ANNA AKANA | 5 Things to Stop Bragging About

Super nakakatawa ‘to. This video is a double-edged sword. Ang dami kong kilalang ganito pero at the same time, natamaan din ako dun sa isang minention nya. Nagagawa ko pala yun minsan and salamat dito kasi mas naging aware ako 😅

Yung na-attack ako is one-upping yung sinabi sakin ng kausap ko. Pero hindi ko nari-realize na ganun pala yung effect and wala sa consciousness ko na nilalamangan ko yung sinasabi nya sakin. Yung tumatakbo kasi sa isip ko pag ganun is, “Ay relate ako jan. Eto naman sakin blah blah…” Yun na kasi yung default response ko for the longest time and gusto ko lang din mai-share sa kanya yung similar experience ko. Pero. Natutunan ko nang mag-shut up. Gine-gauge ko na lang din yung conversation na, “Okay, this is her moment. Hindi ko kailangan laging isingit yung thing ko.” Una ko ‘tong na-realize nung may gumawa din sakin nito. Ang annoying pala 🤣

Yung isang nakakatawa is yung bragging about something na wala sya pero meron syang kakilala na may ganun. Ilang beses ko na ‘to na-encounter at natatawa ko pero yung iba nakakaasar. I have 3 examples:

Niyayabang nya na ang laking kumita nung kakilala nya and the way nyang i-kwento is parang sya yung kumikita ng malaki. And nung time na naguusap kami, ang irrelevant na ikwento nya ‘yon kasi hindi naman napunta dun ang usapan. Gusto nya lang iyabang yung kinikita ng officemate nya with the intention of impressing us. Although na-impress nga ako. Hahaha. Pero later na-realize ko, ang labo nung ginagawa nya. So isa ‘yon.

Yung isa naman is something about sa gadgets. Bumili kami ng robo vacuum. Tapos sabi sakin nung isa, “Ah yung sa kakilala ko may WiFi capabilities yung robo vacuum nila tapos naka-program yung layout ng buong bahay nila.” Eh di wow.

And yung isang pinaka naasar ako kasi may pagka-personal. Pero lipas na naman ‘to. Bigla ko lang naalala nung napanood ko yung video. Yung friend ko sa Pinas nagtanong sakin kung bakit daw kami sa Canada nag-migrate and hindi sa US. Na-bring up kasi sa conversation namin yung common friend namin na nasa US and siguro ang nasa isip nya ay, “US is the place to be! US or nothing!” So parang ang yabang pero yung friend naman namin ang nasa US hindi sya. And mase-sense mo kasi kung tinanong lang nya for informational purposes or may ini-insinuate kasi sa phone kami magkausap, so dinig ko yung tone of voice. May malicious intent. Ayun haha. Hindi ko maiwasang hindi ma-offend. Eh ano naman kung Canada? Eh ano kung US? Eh ano kung Dubai, UK, Singapore or kahit saang bansa pa yan? Eh sa eto yung posible samin eh. And sobra sobrang grateful kami dun. Hindi ko naman sya pinapakelaman sa gusto nya. Sabi nga ni Jonel kay De Lima, “Walang basagan ng trip.”

Okay masyado na kong na-carried away. Hahaha. Good vibes lang dapat eh. Eh kahit gano naman kadaming self-help books ang basahin ko, tao lang naman tayo. Mahina din. “At least I’m tryinggg” 🎵 (to the tune of ‘this is me trying’ by Taylor Swift).

3. ALI ABDAAL | How Stoicism Made Me Happier

Unlike the two videos above na very conversational and parang barkada lang yung kausap, etong third YouTuber is yung mga tipo ng tao na marinig mo pa lang magsalita, alam mo nang henyo. Pag ganito yung mga kausap ko mai-intimidate agad ako. At doctor din kasi sya so medyo technical din syang magsalita. Plus nakatulong din yung British accent nya. 😂

So yung diniscuss dito is about the principles of Stoicism. Na encounter ko na yung word na ‘stoic’ nung college student ako. Parang nabanggit sya as isang symptom of a mental condition. Hindi ko alam na ginagamit din pala sya as something na philosophical.

As discussed sa video, it’s about not focusing on things we cannot control but instead focusing on the things that we can. I’m sure we’ve encountered this phrase before. Pero may mga times lang talaga na kahit alam mong sobrang tama nung sinabi, walang masyadong dating sayo so nalilimutan mo agad. It’s either hindi ganun ka-impactful yung pagkakasabi or you just choose to snub the thought in that moment. But there are times that it just hits you. Like now. Pwedeng kasi sobrang engaging lang talaga nung nagsabi or kasi kelangan mo yung advice na ‘yon right at that moment kaya mas madaling i-absorb.

So siguro nung pinanood ko ‘to kanina, nasa mental state ako na accepting yung utak ko and siguro kasi napapanahon din. Gusto ko yung part na, may mga times daw talaga na we cannot control our initial reaction and they call it ‘proto-passion’. Diba pang matalino.

So for example nasira ng pusa ko yung cable ng charger ko. Nginatngat nya tapos naputol (nangyari pala talaga ‘to). Ang proto-passion ko is “Waaaa anong ginawa mo??” Pero after non matatawa na lang ako and hindi ko naman ip-punish yung pusa ko. So proto-passions (gustong gusto ko na talagang gamitin yung word) are okay. It’s something involuntary and natural. Pero your action after that involuntary reaction is the one that matters. Kasi meron ka nang choice after non. Choice mo bang magalit o kumalma? Choice mo bang dibdibin o intindihin? Pero sa mga extreme situations mahirap ‘to i-apply.

Another principle na sobrang tumama:

We suffer more in our imagination than in reality.

Seneca

I am an overthinker. That’s why therapeutic sakin ‘tong blog kasi naiilabas ko kahit anong gusto ko. More than a decade ko na ‘tong ginagawa and nakatulong talaga sya sa mga moments na malungkot ako or anxious ako.

Pero ngayon, iniiwasan ko nang maging overthinker and I think successful naman. Thank you sa mga librong nabasa ko at sa mga videos na napanood ko this November. Kaya mahilig din akong mag-share ng mga kung ano-ano kasi baka kelangan din ng iba.

4. TED | The Power of Vulnerability by Brené Brown

So this one is a TED Talk. I suggest listening to their podcast as well for other powerful talks like this and if you enjoy tech and science-y stuff like I do.

So Brené Brown talks about how vulnerability will connect us and free us. Vulnerability in a sense that she encourages us to speak our truth and have the courage to show our imperfections no matter how vulnerable it makes us feel. Because there is beauty in vulnerability. My favorite quote from her talk:

I know that vulnerability is kind of the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness. But it appears that it’s also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love.

Sobrang entertaining and engaging pati nyang magsalita. Kung may favorite ako sa mga videos na napanood ko recently, eto ‘yon.

So yun lang. Gutom na ko.

Categories
Books Insights Non-Fiction Personal Development

Atomic Habits by James Clear | Book Report

The fact na naisip kong basahin ‘to, ibig sabihin andun na yung desire ko na i-improve yung good habits ko and i-eliminate as much as possible yung bad. Pero the beginning part of the book still provides more encouragement to increase your desire to improve. And gusto ko yun kasi once I implement the steps, mas may conviction behind it. Mas mapapangatawanan ko kumbaga.

Madaming tips and strategies yung book para ma-cultivate yung good habits. Madami ring examples pero of course, some or most of the examples wouldn’t apply to my life. So kelangan ng extra effort para makaisip ka ng iba-ibang ways para ma-apply yung strategies na yon sa buhay mo mismo.

THINGS I LEARNED:

  • Link your identity to the good habits

You might start a habit because of motivation, but the only reason you’ll stick with one is that it becomes part of your identity.

I think eto yung pinakang tumatak sakin. Kase everytime na maf-frustrate ako sa sarili ko kasi hindi ko nagagawa yung mga sinasabi kong gagawin ko, yung internal monologue ko lagi is, “Wala, ganito na talaga ako. Procrastinator talaga ako. Sa una lang ako magaling.” I identified myself as lazy. When in truth, our identities are not set in stone sabi nga dun sa book. We can edit our identities. Hindi naman ‘to touch move. We can improve. Hindi pwede yung mags-settle na lang ako dun sa paulit ulit kong sinasabi na tamad ako. May choice akong baguhin yung identity ko for the better and stop making excuses like, “Ganito na kasi talaga ko.”

You may want more money, but if your identity is someone who consumes rather than creates, then you’ll continue to be pulled toward spending rather than earning. You may want better health, but if you continue to prioritize comfort over accomplishment, you’ll be drawn to relaxing rather than training.

Continue reading “Atomic Habits by James Clear | Book Report”
Categories
Canada Life

Yabang = Stress

Kahapon, hindi naging maganda ang driving lesson session ko. Sa sobrang stressed ko at dahil ngayon na yung road test ko, naiyak ako habang kinekwento kay Kenneth. Siguro yung pent up nerbyos ko, kahapon lumabas. Pinapaulit ulit ko na lang na sinasabi na, “Eh di kung bumagsak ako, may 2nd take naman and 3rd and 4th and so on. Tsaka hindi naman sobrang kailangan na magka-license ako ngayon kasi work from home naman kami pareho.” Tapos sabi ko din na, “I-eexpect ko na lang na bagsak ako para mawala yung pressure.” Pero hindi umeepek. Stressed pa din ako.

Kasi ang totoo, super gusto ko talagang pumasa. Gusto ko na ‘tong matapos. Gusto ko din ipagyabang na first take ako kasi si Kenneth at yung mga pinsan kong lalake at yung tito ko rin, naka-second take. Gusto ko na rin makapag-drive din talaga kasi si Kenneth tamad mag-drive. Pag meron akong gustong puntahan na trip ko lang and walang ibang purpose, most of the time tinatamad sya. So madaming benefits kung makapasa ako.

Pero, naisip ko ngayong umaga habang nagbabasa ako, na kung bumagsak ako, ang ibig sabihin lang nun ay: hindi pa talaga ko ready mag-drive. Kung bumagsak ako, ibig sabihin, hindi pa enough yung driving skills ko para maging less prone ako sa aksidente. So bakit ko gugustuhing pumasa kung hindi pa naman talaga ko ready? Sabi nga ng kuya ko during our almost everyday video calls, isang reason daw siguro kung bakit ang daming pasaway na drivers sa Pinas ay dahil dinaya yung pagkuha ng lisensya. Unlike dito na legit talaga. Makes sense. Dito disiplinado. Rare kang makarinig ng busina. Nagbibigayan pati madalas.

At isa pa, driving test lang naman ‘to. Hindi naman ‘to board exam na talagang masakit sa puso kung bumagsak ako.

Yun kasi ang mahirap pag gustong magmayabang. Since ang dami kong narinig na kwento na sila ay naka-second take, gusto kong maging angat at ipagyabang na nakuha ko sya sa first take. Kayabangan naman pala ang umiiral. O eh di ngayon, na-sstress tuloy ako dahil sa kayabangan ko. Hahaha. Yun lang pala yun.

May final driving lesson ako in 25 minutes so magre-ready na ko maya-maya. Tapos few hours after road test ko na. Badtrip nag-snow pa. Madulas ang kalsada. Hays we’ll see!!!

UPDATE:

Yung snow talaga yun eh!😆

Bagsak si yabang. Hahaha. Yung mali ko is dumulas ako sa snow. Dapat daw mas pinabagal ko pa yung sasakyan nung paliko ako. Dumulas tuloy ako. Badtrip kasi. Kahapon naman walang snow. Kung wala sigurong snow baka may chance pang pumasa ko. Oh well.

Tapos may kasabay ako mag-road test. Babae din na mas matanda lang siguro sakin ng konti. Mas nauna sya sakin tapos bumagsak din. Ang masaklap, birthday nya ngayon 😅 Haha ang sad. Bigo kami pareho.

Pero ang nakakasama ng loob ay hindi yung pagbagsak ko. Masama ang loob ko kasi gastos nanaman pag nag-road test ako uli. $110 din yun. Mga 4k sa peso. Sana maipasa ko na sa next para di aksaya sa pera 😭

Categories
Books Magical Realism

The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami | Book Review

QUICK AND TAMAD SUMMARY:

Ang book na ‘to ay tungkol sa isang lalake (si Toru Okada) na in the beginning, hinahanap nya lang yung nawawalang pusa ng asawa nya (Kumiko), hanggang sa yung asawa na nya yung nawawala. First book ko ‘to from this author.

Nung una, sumasakay pa ko eh. Ang tolerable pa. Pero habang tumatagal, lalong lumalala. Lumalala yung pagka-boring and pagka-nonsense. Siguro nga hindi para sakin ‘tong libro na ‘to. Pero nalalamangan ng pagka-curious ko yung pagka-ayaw ko sa book. Kaya feeling ko naman matatapos ko ‘to kahit pilit na pilit.

START OF SPOILERS

Ang daming weird characters. May weird prostitute, may weird manghuhula, may weird na teenager. Pero lahat naman sila weird.

I’m currently at 41% and UGHHH. Hirap na hirap talaga kong ituloy-tuloy. Okay ako sa weird pero bakit kasi ang boringgg. Sobrang hindi pa likeable yung main protagonist and hindi ako maka-relate sa kanya. Sobrang apathetic nya. Kaya din siguro ang hirap. Wala akong makuhang connection sa kanya. And yung mga nangyayari sa book, sobrang labo. Hindi lang siguro abot ng intellect ko yung gusto nyang iparating. Pero kahit feeling ko nagsasayang lang ako ng oras, tatapusin ko ‘to. Nanghinayang na ko sa na-invest kong oras.

Siguro si May Kasahara na lang yung saving grace for me. Kung wala yung character nya, hindi ko na talaga alam. Sya lang yung character na interested ako. The rest parang mga bato. Siguro pag nagbasa ako ulit ng isa pang book ng author na ‘to, alam ko na kung anong i-eexpect.

Isingit ko na rin yung na-sad ako dun sa story ni Lt. Mamiya. Yung kahit buhay pa sya after surviving everything and getting through all those traumatic experiences, feeling nya walang meaning yung buhay nya because he already died on that well. Huhu. Eto yung mga rare moments na may na-feel ako while reading this book.

So tapos ko na.

Clearly, this book is too deep for me to fully absorb and comprehend. Parang yung buong book is isang mahaba at weird na panaginip (or bangungot). Most of the time walang sense pero yung nasagap ng brain ko is yung themes of introspection. Hanggang dun lang. Hindi ko na sya kayang i-expound.

Atat na atat na kong matapos ‘to kasi ang haba. 600 pages. Siguro 75% of the time hindi ko alam kung anong nangyayari pero weirdly, nung 95-98% na ko dun sa book, parang ayoko pa sya matapos. Parang nasa momentum pa kong magbasa ng kawirdohan.

Baka yung next ko basahin na book from this author is yung Norwegian Wood, as recommended by one of the book club members, Danielle.

My status updates on Goodreads

RATING [2.25 🌟]

Alam kong generally mataas yung review nung book na ‘to pero ayokong mag-pretend na naintindihan ko. Hindi pa abot ng brain cells ko yung ganitong klaseng books. Nagpapadala naman ako dun sa book. Wala akong expectations. May mga parts na gusto ko yung pagka-weird nya and may mga parts na nalulusaw na yung utak ko para pilitin na mag-make sense yung binabasa ko.

QUOTES

Curiosity can bring guts out of hiding at times, maybe even get them going. But curiosity usually evaporates. Guts have to go for the long haul. Curiosity’s like a fun friend you can’t really trust. It turns you on and then it leaves you to make it on your own—with whatever guts you can muster.

Toru Okada

When someone gets on my nerves, the first thing I do is transfer the object of my unpleasant feelings to another domain, one having no connection with me. Then I tell myself, Fine, I’m feeling bad, but I’ve put the source of these feelings into another zone, away from here, where I can examine it and deal with it later in my own good time. In other words, I put a freeze on my emotions. Later, when I thaw them out to perform the examination, I do occasionally find my emotions still in a distressed state, but that is rare. The passage of time will usually extract the venom from most things and render them harmless. Then, sooner or later, I forget about them.

Toru Okada

I’m not one hundred percent sure about any of this, and I don’t have any amazing solutions. All I’ve got is this feeling.

Toru Okada

If people want to lose all sense of direction, the best thing that you and I can do is let them. We have more important things to do.

Noboru Wataya

If people lived forever—if they never got any older—if they could just go on living in this world, never dying, always healthy—do you think they’d bother to think hard about things, the way we’re doing now? I mean, we think about just about everything, more or less—philosophy, psychology, logic. Religion. Literature. I kinda think, if there were no such thing as death, that complicated thoughts and ideas like that would never come into the world.

May Kasahara

I remembered laughing out loud when I read this:

May Kasahara: The women sell their hair to the wig companies. That’s how they earn their dowries in some places. The whole world’s so weird! The guy sitting next to you might actually be wearing the hair of some woman in Indonesia.

By reflex, I and the B-man looked around at the others in the car.

Click to view my digital book shelf.

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Pakiramdam ko malapit na kong maging guru kakabasa ko ng mga self help books 😂 Nagsimula sa Digital Minimalism tapos sinundan ko ng Atomic Habits. Digital Minimalism para mabawasan yung bad habits ko sa paggamit ng phone and Atomic Habits para makapag-create ako ng good habits and para na din mabago yung iba pang bad habits.

Lapit na ko sa goal ko na 15 books this year

Bakit ba ngayon ko lang ‘to naisip? Siguro kung sinimulan kong magbagong buhay pagka-resign na pagka-resign ko, dami ko na sigurong na-achieve or ang laki na siguro ng improvement ko. Pero ayokong mag-dwell dun. At least bumabawi naman ako ngayon.

Siguro naman, gone are the days yung mga drama ko sa previous blog posts ko na naaasar ako sa sarili ko, na wala akong disiplina, kasi ang procrastinator ko, etc. Sana naman tapos na yang mga dialogue ko na ‘yan. Kasi nakatulong yung book para makita ko ang mga bagay bagay in a different light.

Siguro yung pinaka nag-stick sakin na nabasa ko sa Atomic Habits so far (di ko pa sya tapos), is yung pagsasabi natin sa sarili natin ng mga bagay about ourselves like, “Procrastinator kasi talaga ako.” or “Hindi kasi talaga ko magaling sa directions.” or “Wala kasi akong self control.” Okay so kung ganun, eh di wala na pala talaga kong pag-asa?? Mag-stick na lang ako sa ganun kasi yun na talaga yung identity ko? Mali. Sabi ni author, “Our identities are not set in stone.” We have the option to edit and improve and expand our identities. And na-realize kong tama nga talaga. Nili-link kasi natin yung bad habits natin sa identities natin.

Eto example. Yung sabi ko kanina na mahina ako sa directions. Bukambibig ko ‘to lagi. So usually naka-rely lang ako sa mga kasama ko or kay Kenneth most of the time pagdating sa directions. Pero bakit nung pumunta kaming Japan ng mga friends ko or nung pumunta kaming Hong Kong ng Mama ko, ako yung navigator? So ang nangyayari pala, pag merong tao na alam kong sila yung willing mag lead ng way, nagigi akong dependent na lang sa kanila and I tend to chill. Hindi ko pinapagana yung isip ko pagdating sa directions kasi anjan naman sila.

Hays I miss Japan

Pero when it’s time na ako sa grupo yung mas nakakaalam or for example, saming dalwa ng Mama, na mas ako yung nakakaintindi ng Google maps or nung subway app kasi hindi naman sya techie, I feel the need to step up. And kaya ko naman pala talaga. So it’s a choice. Pagkasama ko si Kenneth, choice ko na hindi maging magaling sa directions and sa Mama ko naman, choice kong maging magaling.

Hays I miss traveling with Mama kahit lagi kaming nagtatalo

Plano ko naman basahin next yun The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz. Ngayon sobrang enjoy na enjoy ako magbasa. Mapa-fiction or non-fiction.

And regarding dun sa concern ko na pano kung yung mga friends ko ay ma-hassle-an dahil hindi na ko nakikipagchat masyado which will result to not communicating at all, turns out it’s all in my head. Kasi they had positive responses about it. Humingi pa ng copy si Nick nung Atomic Habits. Ewan ko lang kung babasahin nun 😄

Since naiisabuhay ko na yung cliché na saying na, “Time is gold.” And next ko namang susubukan ay yung, “Health is wealth.” Eto yung isa ko pang bad habit na gustong mabago kasi ang hilig ko sa junk food and sa matatamis.

Kitang kita sa breakfast ko ngayon

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Favorite Conversations #3

GLENIZ: Pano kung after kong i-send sa friends ko yun and malaman nila na hindi na ko masyadong nakikipag-chat, wala nang makipag-usap sakin?

KENNETH: I’m here.