Tag: friendships

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Life Pals Secrets

Thursday Letter #19: Are Catch-Ups Enough?

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As I’ve mentioned many times on this blog, sobrang saya namin nung nakalipat na kaming Calgary (more than a year ago na!), pero ang hirap pala talagang maka-establish ng circle na reliable. Para kasing yun na lang yung kulang eh. And when I say reliable, yung klase ng friendship na alam mong magkikita kayo ulit soon at hindi sobrang palaisipan kung kelan ang next hangout. Yung tipong kelangan mong mag-drop by sa bahay nila kasi may isosoli kang food container nung time na binigyan ka nila ng ulam. Yung involved kayo sa buhay ng isa’t isa na hindi nyo na kelangang magcatch-up. Matagal-tagal na rin akong nagkikwento about my longing for friendships like these. Ang dami ko nang nasulat tungkol dito. But I’m happy and grateful to say that: mukang ito na yung last.

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Insights

The Other F Word

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Insights Pals Secrets

Best Friends

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I was listening to a podcast and one of the hosts talked about having a best friend and how they had a falling out, and I naturally thought of my best friends and how we had a falling out. Back in grade school, I still think fondly of all the ‘best friend things’ we did. Listening to boy bands and girl pop stars (we loved Christina Aguilera), sharing our boy band crushes (mine is Ben of A1), gushing about our real-life crushes, gossiping about girls we didn’t like, skipping my piano lessons and hanging out at their house for hours (yung pambayad ko sa piano teacher ginawa kong pang-meryenda namin), and all that cutesy naiveté that childhood brings.

I find it incredibly cool that back then, living in a small province, we’d just tell our parents we were going to our friend’s house and then just walk there on our own. No cellphones, no way for them to track us, no texting our friend to say we’re coming over—we’d just show up on their doorsteps completely unannounced, and all that was just normal. What we had was pure, unadulterated quality time with our friends, and there were no cellphones to distract us. If there’s a landline phone, its main purpose was to prank call our crushes (hindi kami nagte-telebabad ng best friends ko kasi kung gusto naming magusap, pupunta kami mismo sa bahay ng isa’t isa para mag-chikahan). Those were the days indeed.

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Books French Hobbies Life Pals Secrets

Life Updates | 3 Months in Calgary + Fate and Friendships

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1.

I’m super happy with my current reads. So far, I’ve finished 2 books (Born a Crime and The Omnivore’s Dilemma) and both were easy 5-star reads. My goal each year is to read 1 book a month, and I’m pretty much on track.

Yayy available na sa Libby

Right now, I’m switching it up with fiction and I’m currently reading The Friend Zone by Abby Jimenez. I’m really enjoying it. The kilig is kiliging. People on the internet say that if you love Emily Henry’s books, you’ll probably like Abby Jimenez too—and it looks like they’re right. I’m picky with romance novels so I’m glad to have found another reliable author for my romance fix besides Emily Henry.

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Calm Insights Pals

The Subtle Art of Enjoying Alone Time (Without Feeling Lonely)

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Pakiramdam ko ang kalmado nitong mga nakaraang araw. Wala akong maisulat. Hindi ako nilalapitan ng drama, at hindi rin ako lumalapit sa drama. Kung may na-eencounter man akong drama-rama, hindi naman ako yung involved, kaya walang masyadong weight. Hindi ko alam kung character development ba ‘to na hindi na ko masyadong nagpapaapekto sa mga bagay-bagay, o wala lang talagang happenings. Pero feeling ko may something, at naninibago ako sa something na ‘to.

Ang isa kong napansin na pagbabago, ang tagal kong magbasa at magreply sa mga chats—which is unusual. Hindi na ko naaatat tulad noon na kapag meron akong unread messages, merong something sa loob ko na kailangan kong mag-reply agad. Hindi dahil feelingera ako na ang thinking ko nakaabang sila sa reply ko, it’s my obsessive-compulsive tendencies. Ewan ko ba bakit hindi ako mapakali. Parang nakikita ko kasi sya as blank squares sa to-do list ko na hindi ko pa nachecheckan. Pero feeling ko tumatak sakin ‘tong IG post na ‘to kaya rin may nagbago:

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Free Posts Insights Life Pals

Adult Friendships

I read this New Yorker article about friendship, ‘The Trouble with Friends’. Feeling ko, it was a reality check. Narealize ko, my hope and aim for friendships were too idealistic and childlike. Ang nakatatak sa utak ko, “Gusto ko lang naman ng someone ngayon kung pano kami ng grade school bestfriends ko noon.” Yung updated kami with every single little ganap ng isa’t isa. Yung tanggap namin yung pettiness, we talk every single day, walang nakikipag-compete, we want to hangout as much as possible, etc.

For some naive reason, I still hope for this kind of friendship. But this article opened my eyes to the truth: adult friendships are just different. Old friendships won’t be as tight-knit as before, and some will just slowly falter. Your friends, no matter how inseparable you were, and no matter how close you are until now, will end up in different geographic locations—ako pa nga yung isa sa mga unang umalis, so ano bang nirereklamo ko?

Continue reading “Adult Friendships”