Category: Wellness

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Books Career Insights Life Secrets

I Was Born in the Wrong Era

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Being in my jobless era (once again), ang hirap maramdaman yung usefulness ko. Pinupuntirya nya yung ego ko. Lalo na pag nakikita kong nagta-trabaho si Kenneth? Tapos napapadalas pa yung OT nya these days? Nakaka-guilty. Ang pinipilit kong ipaintindi sa sarili ko, mas napapagaan ko yung araw-araw nya kasi mas may time akong ipagluto sya at mas nakakapaglinis ako ng bahay. But most importantly, may income naman akong natatanggap at naco-contribute. Hindi ako useless. Pero kahit it makes sense na ganito yung setup namin these days, naglalaban yung logic at guilty feelings. I blame Industrial Revolution and capitalism. Bakit pa kasi yun nauso.

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Free Posts Insights Life

My Favorite Love Language

As someone na ang favorite love language to receive ay words of affirmation, pakiramdam ko hindi ako ganun ka-satisfied kasi hindi natural kay Kenneth ang pagiging expressive. Napagusapan na naman namin ‘to, pero talagang may mga bagay na hindi kayang pilitin. Okay lang. Na-accept ko na. Kaya naman pag nakaka-receive ako ng compliments from other people, SOBRANG nakakataba ng puso. And because words of affirmation rarely come my way, sinunod ko yung napanood kong idea na gumawa ng album sa phone, with screenshots of messages from people expressing their appreciation and sending uplifting statements.

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Free Posts Life Wellness

You Need to Cry

For days now, I’ve been ignoring my pelvic pain—maybe even weeks, I’m not sure. My constant pelvic pain is a reminder that I have endometriosis, something that probably won’t ever go away. Ten years of having this condition (going through two palliative surgeries and tons of hormone-altering pills and injections), medical science still doesn’t have much to show for it. The most I could do is get regular ultrasounds just to make sure those pesky cysts remain manageable in size (I hate that they’re also called ‘chocolate cysts’ because I love chocolates).

I try to ignore this pain as much as I can because it stirs up feelings of hopelessness and sadness. And when I feel those things, they only add more stress to my body, which in turn brings more harm since stress worsen the symptoms of endometriosis. So I ignore away. When the pain is sudden and intense, that’s the only time I unwillingly acknowledge the pain because ignoring it is impossible. But as soon as it dies down, I go right back to ignoring it, thinking what I’m doing is for the best.

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Family Insights Secrets

Thursday Letter #6 | Pain vs Suffering

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(a low energy) Hello,

Nung nakita ko yung suka ni Walnut na may pink and light yellow green material, tumingin ako dun sa bulaklak na bigay ni Kenneth nung Valentine’s Day at nakita kong may punit yung isang petal nung lily. Dun ko lang naisip i-search kung toxic ba ang lilies sa mga pusa.

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Free Posts Hobbies Insights

Why I Like to Write

Among the many reasons why I like to write, I think one of them is the desire to be understood. As someone with a resting bothered face, I’ve been misunderstood countless times. Sobrang puzzled ko pag sinasabihan ako ng mga tao—including my relatives, my own mother even—“Bakit ka nakasimangot?” “Itsura mo para kang galit.” When in reality, I’m not mad whatsoever. I’m just existing. I am neutral. I’m a hundred percent sure that my facial muscles are completely relaxed. But to them, I seem to be exuding some kind of negative aura. Nung highschool days napapaaway pa ko. Ang sama ko raw makatingin.

Muka namang angel ah 😆
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Free Posts Insights Life Money Diaries

2025 Game Plan

Another year, another game plan. I’m so happy I don’t feel rushed to finish this post. I think dati meron akong nafi-feel na, “Dapat ma-finalize ko na ‘to bago matapos ang January.” But not this year. Bago ako pumunta sa theme at sa mga gusto kong ma-achieve this year, I will check first kung anong success rate ng 2024 game plan ko…

Okay, out of the 12 goals I set, I was able to achieve 7! I’m not aiming for perfect. Basta more than half okay na ko dun.

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Calm Insights Pals

The Subtle Art of Enjoying Alone Time (Without Feeling Lonely)

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Pakiramdam ko ang kalmado nitong mga nakaraang araw. Wala akong maisulat. Hindi ako nilalapitan ng drama, at hindi rin ako lumalapit sa drama. Kung may na-eencounter man akong drama-rama, hindi naman ako yung involved, kaya walang masyadong weight. Hindi ko alam kung character development ba ‘to na hindi na ko masyadong nagpapaapekto sa mga bagay-bagay, o wala lang talagang happenings. Pero feeling ko may something, at naninibago ako sa something na ‘to.

Ang isa kong napansin na pagbabago, ang tagal kong magbasa at magreply sa mga chats—which is unusual. Hindi na ko naaatat tulad noon na kapag meron akong unread messages, merong something sa loob ko na kailangan kong mag-reply agad. Hindi dahil feelingera ako na ang thinking ko nakaabang sila sa reply ko, it’s my obsessive-compulsive tendencies. Ewan ko ba bakit hindi ako mapakali. Parang nakikita ko kasi sya as blank squares sa to-do list ko na hindi ko pa nachecheckan. Pero feeling ko tumatak sakin ‘tong IG post na ‘to kaya rin may nagbago:

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Insights Secrets

Atheist Problems

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Free Posts Insights Life Ramblings

Ramblings #51

To soothe my anxious heart:

“even when the reasons why are a mystery” 🥹
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Free Posts Insights Life

The Child-Free Life

Minsan, I feel defensive sa desisyon naming hindi magkaanak. At yung minsan na yun ay ngayon. I think it’s due to some recent events, kasi ever present pa rin yung mga shocked reactions ng mga tao pag nalaman nilang wala kaming anak at wala kaming planong magkaanak. Siguro pag hindi ko na na-witness yung mga ganung comments and reactions, saka lang ako titigil magsalita tungkol dito. Since marami nang spokesperson ang mga parents, gusto ko naman maging spokesperson sa mga couples na nag-decide hindi maging parents, o kahit dun sa mga nagdadalwang isip.

One time habang nasa bakasyon kami, nakita ko yung meme na ‘to at naka-relate at natawa ako, so ni-repost ko.

In case wala kayong Instagram, this is the meme. Also, I’m jealous of you.

Pero the moment na ni-repost ko, bigla akong na-conscious. Naisip ko, “Hala, baka offensive sya sa mga friends kong parents. Okay lang kaya yun?” Tapos naisip ko, my momshie friends post their babies all the time. They are proud to say, despite the hardships, how wonderful and fulfilling parenthood is. So hindi rin siguro masamang i-express, despite the judgment and criticisms, kung gano rin ka-wonderful yung kabilang side? Kaya with an anxious heart, I let it exist on my IG stories for 24 hours.

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