Category: Wellness

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Insights Secrets

Listening to Your Gut

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After I published this essay about my social life, ang daming leftover thoughts na nag-flow after. Parang ang dami ko pa palang masasabi. So consider this as a continuation of that previous post.

Unti-unti kong nakokolekta yung mga factors kung bakit pa-intense ng pa-intense yung pag-question ko sa quality ng social life ko:

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Insights Life Secrets

Is My Social Life on Life Support?

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Minsan, pag kuntento naman akong nakatambay lang sa bahay, tapos excited ako sa mga plano kong gawin (either magsulat at magbasa lang naman yun, or manood ng TV or mag-chores), tapos makikita ko online yung mga tao na lumalabas with their family or friends, I feel this pang of anxiety. Pag nawi-witness ko sa social media yung ganun, parang napapa-question ako na, “Ganun din ba dapat ang social life ko?” And I think kaya medyo kakaiba yung impact nun sakin, kasi ilang beses ko nang na-encounter sa mga libro at podcasts na isa sa mga importanteng aspect daw ng well-being ay having a rich social life.

As an immigrant na ang family at close friends ay nasa iba-ibang parte ng mundo, in comparison sa mga nakikita ko online, it seems like my social life is lacking. I get confused. Is it a real lack, or just perceived lack? Kasi kung hindi naman ako nagbukas ng Instagram at hindi ko sila nakita, I would be perfectly content with my books and my cats’ fuzzy company. Ito yung dream ko simula nung highschool ako—I’m in my cozy home, peacefully reading books, bonus pa pag gloomy sa labas or umuulan. I’m finally living the dream! Pero pag nawi-witness ko sila na madaming ganaps, pumupunta yung isip ko sa well-being ko. Not even naiinggit na gusto kong lumabas din, naco-conscious ako na since hindi ako masyado mahilig lumabas, baka nakakasama sya sa health ko.

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Family Insights Pals Secrets

Thursday Letter #9 | Expectation vs Reality

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Pag meron akong mga kaibigan na nawalan ng mahal sa buhay, I will say my condolences, sincerely let them know that I’m just here, then give them space. Aantayin ko na lang silang mag-message ulit pag ready na silang makipag-interact sa outside world. Pakiramdam ko kasi yun yung kailangan nila. Ayokong mangulit, ayokong maka-bother, feeling ko pag chinat ko sila ng “Kamusta?” baka mainis lang sila at sabihin nila na, “Ano sa tingin mo?” Pero ngayon na nagkaron ako ng isang major loss sa pagkawala ng lola ko, in my case, mas na-aappreciate ko pala yung kinakamusta ako. Hindi ko pala kelangan ng madaming space. Kasi pag nagsolo lang ako with my grief, ang hirap nyang dalhin mag-isa.

On comforting someone experiencing grief:

I hope we can talk about the truth of the loss, not distract them from that. Because that is what’s going to help them.

The excuse of, “I don’t want to make them feel uncomfortable” but you’re actually making them feel uncomfortable by not speaking about what’s there in plain sight. Don’t be afraid to go to hard places.

— Lori Gottlieb | How to Deal with Difficult Emotions During Tough Times to Support Your Family and Friends Effectively, On Purpose podcast

Nagawa ko ‘to nung nawalan ng kapatid yung kaibigan ko. Siguro dahil sobrang close din namin kaya hindi mahirap sakin to “go to hard places” with her. Kahit few months after, or even years after she lost her younger brother, napaguusapan pa rin namin minsan yung pain at sadness nya. At ngayon na nawalan naman ako ng lola, ganun din sya sakin. Sabi ko sa kanya, kahit ang tagal ko nang pinaghahandaan ‘to at alam ko namang matanda na rin ang Mommy, never pa rin akong naging ready nung nangyari na. At yung pinakamasakit, hindi mo makokontrol yung way ng pagkawala nila. Kahit gano mo pa i-wish na sana hindi sila mahirapan, it’s really out of our hands. Na-comfort ako dun sa sinabi nyang, “Kahit alam naman natin na hiram lang ang buhay, ang hirap-hirap pa rin talaga.” Walang paghahanda ang sapat pag realidad na ang kaharap natin.

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Books Career Insights Life Secrets

I Was Born in the Wrong Era

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Being in my jobless era (once again), ang hirap maramdaman yung usefulness ko. Pinupuntirya nya yung ego ko. Lalo na pag nakikita kong nagta-trabaho si Kenneth? Tapos napapadalas pa yung OT nya these days? Nakaka-guilty. Ang pinipilit kong ipaintindi sa sarili ko, mas napapagaan ko yung araw-araw nya kasi mas may time akong ipagluto sya at mas nakakapaglinis ako ng bahay. But most importantly, may income naman akong natatanggap at naco-contribute. Hindi ako useless. Pero kahit it makes sense na ganito yung setup namin these days, naglalaban yung logic at guilty feelings. I blame Industrial Revolution and capitalism. Bakit pa kasi yun nauso.

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Free Posts Insights Life

My Favorite Love Language

As someone na ang favorite love language to receive ay words of affirmation, pakiramdam ko hindi ako ganun ka-satisfied kasi hindi natural kay Kenneth ang pagiging expressive. Napagusapan na naman namin ‘to, pero talagang may mga bagay na hindi kayang pilitin. Okay lang. Na-accept ko na. Kaya naman pag nakaka-receive ako ng compliments from other people, SOBRANG nakakataba ng puso. And because words of affirmation rarely come my way, sinunod ko yung napanood kong idea na gumawa ng album sa phone, with screenshots of messages from people expressing their appreciation and sending uplifting statements.

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Free Posts Life Wellness

You Need to Cry

For days now, I’ve been ignoring my pelvic pain—maybe even weeks, I’m not sure. My constant pelvic pain is a reminder that I have endometriosis, something that probably won’t ever go away. Ten years of having this condition (going through two palliative surgeries and tons of hormone-altering pills and injections), medical science still doesn’t have much to show for it. The most I could do is get regular ultrasounds just to make sure those pesky cysts remain manageable in size (I hate that they’re also called ‘chocolate cysts’ because I love chocolates).

I try to ignore this pain as much as I can because it stirs up feelings of hopelessness and sadness. And when I feel those things, they only add more stress to my body, which in turn brings more harm since stress worsen the symptoms of endometriosis. So I ignore away. When the pain is sudden and intense, that’s the only time I unwillingly acknowledge the pain because ignoring it is impossible. But as soon as it dies down, I go right back to ignoring it, thinking what I’m doing is for the best.

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Family Insights Secrets

Thursday Letter #6 | Pain vs Suffering

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(a low energy) Hello,

Nung nakita ko yung suka ni Walnut na may pink and light yellow green material, tumingin ako dun sa bulaklak na bigay ni Kenneth nung Valentine’s Day at nakita kong may punit yung isang petal nung lily. Dun ko lang naisip i-search kung toxic ba ang lilies sa mga pusa.

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Free Posts Hobbies Insights

Why I Like to Write

Among the many reasons why I like to write, I think one of them is the desire to be understood. As someone with a resting bothered face, I’ve been misunderstood countless times. Sobrang puzzled ko pag sinasabihan ako ng mga tao—including my relatives, my own mother even—“Bakit ka nakasimangot?” “Itsura mo para kang galit.” When in reality, I’m not mad whatsoever. I’m just existing. I am neutral. I’m a hundred percent sure that my facial muscles are completely relaxed. But to them, I seem to be exuding some kind of negative aura. Nung highschool days napapaaway pa ko. Ang sama ko raw makatingin.

Muka namang angel ah 😆
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Free Posts Insights Life Money Diaries

2025 Game Plan

Another year, another game plan. I’m so happy I don’t feel rushed to finish this post. I think dati meron akong nafi-feel na, “Dapat ma-finalize ko na ‘to bago matapos ang January.” But not this year. Bago ako pumunta sa theme at sa mga gusto kong ma-achieve this year, I will check first kung anong success rate ng 2024 game plan ko…

Okay, out of the 12 goals I set, I was able to achieve 7! I’m not aiming for perfect. Basta more than half okay na ko dun.

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Calm Insights Pals

The Subtle Art of Enjoying Alone Time (Without Feeling Lonely)

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Pakiramdam ko ang kalmado nitong mga nakaraang araw. Wala akong maisulat. Hindi ako nilalapitan ng drama, at hindi rin ako lumalapit sa drama. Kung may na-eencounter man akong drama-rama, hindi naman ako yung involved, kaya walang masyadong weight. Hindi ko alam kung character development ba ‘to na hindi na ko masyadong nagpapaapekto sa mga bagay-bagay, o wala lang talagang happenings. Pero feeling ko may something, at naninibago ako sa something na ‘to.

Ang isa kong napansin na pagbabago, ang tagal kong magbasa at magreply sa mga chats—which is unusual. Hindi na ko naaatat tulad noon na kapag meron akong unread messages, merong something sa loob ko na kailangan kong mag-reply agad. Hindi dahil feelingera ako na ang thinking ko nakaabang sila sa reply ko, it’s my obsessive-compulsive tendencies. Ewan ko ba bakit hindi ako mapakali. Parang nakikita ko kasi sya as blank squares sa to-do list ko na hindi ko pa nachecheckan. Pero feeling ko tumatak sakin ‘tong IG post na ‘to kaya rin may nagbago:

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