Gleniz da MenaceIt’s already September (ambilis) and I am revisiting my 2023 Game Plan today. June pa lang naiisip ko na ‘tong gawin pero may work ako so wala talaga ko masyadong time magmuni-muni. Basta yung past few months I am always preoccupied with something at nag-procrastinate ako to do my mid-year review. I feel like ngayon, ito na yung tamang moment.
Ang theme ko this year ay:
I was doing my very late mid-year review a while ago (yet to be published) at after kong matuwa sa mga na-accomplish kong goals, na-stress ako after. Dun kasi sa 13 goals na sinet ko in the beginning of the year, dalwa lang yung fail, tapos isa na lang yung natitirang work in progress. So parang sa isip ko, isa na lang? Meron pang 4 months na natitira this year. Ano pang dapat kong gawin?
Pinapanood ko yung vlog ni Heart at Chiz tapos may nabanggit dun na, “Breaking up with a true friend would certainly hurt.” Nag-standout sakin yung words na “true friend”.
Recently I had a falling out with a friend of 20+ years and ngayon, I really feel and know that I’m better off. Initially I was hurt pero ang bilis kong naka-move on. At yung rason siguro ay dahil I recently discovered na hindi na pala sya nagfi-fit dun sa description of a “true friend”. Kaya siguro ang dali nyang bitawan.
Let’s take a break from writing about our recent trip at mag-recalibrate. Since natapos na nga yung contract ko sa previous work ko, I’m currently on a break. It’s been 2 weeks since our trip at ang ginagawa ko lang ay:
Gusto ko yung natutunan ko sa ‘Waking Up’ app:
Parang sabi wag daw tayong ma-feel bad if we’re missing out. Kasi missing out means you get to focus on just a few things or people, hence, living a richer life. Kasi pag yes lang tayo ng yes sa lahat, or collect lang tayo ng collect ng friends/acquaintances, sabog sabog yung experience. We’re spreading ourselves too thin.
Naihalintulad ko yung fear of missing out sa paginom ng mango juice na overly diluted with water. Hint na lang nung mango yung malalasahan ko. Nakakabitin at hindi enjoyable. Unlike pag pure mango juice, ang sarap, ang rich ng flavor. So tingin ko ang sinasabi dito, mas masarap ang buhay if you only commit your time to a few important things/events/hobbies/people.
At dahil dyan, nagkaron ng another level of meaning for me yung saying na, “Less is more.”
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Bago pa matapos ang May, ike-kwento ko muna ‘to. Nalaman ko somewhere na ang buwan ng Mayo ay ‘Masturbation Month’. Meron palang ganun. Sabi ko kay Kenneth, “Ang May pala ay Masturbation Month.” Nagulat na natawa lang sya, pero na-feel kong medyo na-awkward.
Napatigil ako sa book reporting ko ng ‘Recapture the Rapture’ nung nabasa ko ulit yung isang hinighlight ko.
I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve (or save) the world and a desire to enjoy (or savor) the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.”
E. B. White, author of the children’s classic Charlotte’s Web
May pinapanood ako at bigla kong naalala yung time na na-stranded ako sa Incheon Airport. Konting konti na lang nasa Pilipinas na ko tapos nagkaproblema pa grrr. Pinipigilan ko yung emotions ko that time pero nung kausap ko na ang Mama, wala umiyak na ko. Ang layo na kasi ng nilakbay ko (18 hrs!) tapos papabalikin lang ako?! Pero yung best part, wala akong ibang narinig sa Mama kundi, “Makakauwi ka.” Kahit 99% sure akong hindi na ko makakauwi, ang sarap pa rin pakinggan nung konting hope na baka nga makauwi ako. As a recovering pessimistic, kelangan ko talaga ng mga positive people sa buhay ko. At bilang ganti, kelangan ko rin mas maging positive para sa ibang tao.
I realized that I may have gone overboard with my journaling. Suddenly, I wanted to capture all my thoughts, every single one of them—but I have too many thoughts which makes documenting everything unrealistic. After that uneasy realization, I try to remember what makes journaling therapeutic for me. Journaling empties my mind and relaxes me, leaving me refreshed and unburdened. I think what’s important for me to remember is that journaling is a tool and not a chore. I have to be at peace with the fact that it’s impossible to capture and document everything, that it’s okay to forget things here and there. Except this one. This is quite important. I should also learn to trust my self that when it comes to truly and absolutely important things, I won’t forget.
Gleniz da Menace