2023 Game Plan

THEME:

Sink into the Present

I chose this kasi eto yung overarching theme ng mga paboritong non-fiction books na nabasa ko last year. Eto ang sagot sa overthinking, sa anxiety, sa pag-eenjoy, sa pag-create ng good relationships. When I’m truly present, I only focus sa kung anong nangyayari right in front of me, right at this moment. I’m forced to get rid of the past (where it’s nice to revisit sometimes until you get stuck) and the future (where everything is uncertain, pressuring the brain to do a lot of guesswork which leads to overthinking and anxiety). So instead, I will do my best to let the present be my default mode and only pay brief visits to the past and future when needed.

Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have. Make the Now the primary focus of your life. Whereas before you dwelt in time and paid brief visits to the Now, have your dwelling place in the Now and pay brief visits to past and future when required to deal with the practical aspects of your life.

Eckhart Tolle

So yun. Eto ang napili ko kahit alam kong mahihirapan ako. Alam mo yung gets mo, sobrang naiintindihan mo, pero ibang challenge yung application. Meron akong inuulit sa utak ko pag nakaka-feel ako ng anxiety about future plans or events. I will remind myself: “Let future Gleniz deal with it.” Minsan effective, minsan hindi. As always, I will try my best.

So here are my goals for this year (masyadong naging detailed pero tinatamad na kong mag-edit):

PERSONAL

GOAL #1: Visit PH

Yearly ko na ‘tong goal pero every year, walang kasiguraduhan kung makakauwi ba talaga ko. Either magkakaron ng pandemic or kulang sa budget, or nagkakaron ng unforeseeble factors na pwedeng makahadlang sa pag-uwi. Kaya rin ako naghanap ulit ng work para sa goal na ‘to.

GOAL #2: Go to parks and read

Last year ang goal ko ay dalasan ang pagpunta sa library para magbasa. Pero nung nabasa ko yung Upstream ni Mary Oliver, parang mas masarap palang magbasa sa park. Yung tipong magse-setup ka ng picnic sa damuhan, sa isang quiet spot, tapos dun ka magbabasa. Excited na kong mag-summer para gawin ‘to.

Everytime pumupunta kami sa park, sobrang amazed kami ni Kenneth sa lawak at sa dami ng puno. Sobrang nakaka-relax. Tapos lagi naming pina-plano na bumalik. Sabi ni Kenneth maglalatag lang daw kami ng blanket tapos tutulog sya tapos ako magbabasa. Pero hindi laging natutuloy. Laging nagkakatamaran. So ngayon seseryosohin ko na talaga.

GOAL #3: Continue learning French

Currently, naka-enroll pa rin ako sa language program. Tapos na ang winter break so magre-resume ulit ang klase sa Jan 10th. Excited ako na medyo kabado kasi hindi ako masyadong nakapag-review ng lessons during the break. Pero looking forward ako na bumalik ulit sa groove of studying.

GOAL #4: Don’t trust my negative thoughts

I need more positivity in my life. Most of my anxieties and loneliness stems from negative thinking and assumptions. Sample: “Hindi ako nami-miss ng family ko. I became irrelevant ngayong malayo na ko sa kanila.” Pero kung ire-review ko naman yung interactions ko with them, I speak with them frequently and it’s often full of love and care. Hindi ko rin maintindihan bakit constantly ko syang pino-problema kahit ilang beses ko nanaman syang napabulaanan.

Pagdating sa life at opportunities, positive naman ako. Sa relationships lang talaga ko nahihirapan. I think I know why and it stems from doubt. Hindi ko ma-type. Gawa na lang ako ng private post. Basta I will try my best na wag paniwalaan lahat ng negative na pumapasok sa utak ko kahit gano pa katotoo sa pakiramdam. I will focus on the facts.

GOAL #5: Curb my expectations

I stumbled upon this post about the 5 Levels of Friendship. Super nagustuhan ko sya kasi feeling ko eto yung tool na kelangan ko para hindi ako laging nasasaktan.

Merong mga tao sa buhay ko na nilalagay ko sila sa Level 4 or 5. Since dun ko sila nilagay, medyo mataas ang expectations ko sa kanila—kasi I am also willing to do more for them. So pag hindi nami-meet yung expectation ko sa kanila as my Level 4 or 5 friend, nagli-lead sya to disappointment and resentment. I end up being hurt. Pero kung pagiisipan ko lang sana nang mabuti, mali pala ko nang napaglagyan. Nasa Level 2 or 3 lang pala sila. Hindi pala dapat ako super nag-eexpect. Kaya moving forward, I will properly gauge their level so I can manage my expectations and be more realistic.

HEALTH

GOAL #6: Meditate regularly

Babalikan ko yung meditation as my goal this year. Nagkaron ako ng phase na, “Parang wala namang effect sa buhay ko ‘tong meditation. Wala namang nangyayari.” Pero mali lang pala yung approach ko. Few months ago, nakahanap na ko ng type of meditation na perfect sakin. Nabanggit ko na ‘to several times dito sa blog at yun ay ang ‘space-time bridging’ na natutunan ko kay Dr. Andrew Huberman.

Makakatulong din ang pagme-meditate sa theme ko this year. At may narinig din ako somewhere na: “Those who can’t meditate need meditation the most”. So medyo natamaan ako dun. Ilang beses nang naging effective sakin ang space-time bridging kaya I will continue to do that as often as I can.

GOAL #7: Truly love my body

Eto pa yung isang goal na lagi akong nag-s-struggle. Ang pagkain ng healthy. Ang pag-iwas sa matatamis at matataba. Lagi kong goal ang, ‘eat healthy’ at ‘exercise’. Pero hindi ako nagiging consistent. Lagi akong mate-tempt humilata or bumili ng milk tea or magpa-deliver ng fast food. So naisip ko, I think dapat hindi ako mag-focus sa words na ‘eat healthy and exercise regularly’. I think dapat mag-focus ako sa pagmamahal ko sa katawan ko. Kasi kung totoong mahal ko ang katawan ko, hindi ko sya ifi-feed ng junk all the time at hindi ko sya hahayaang humina. If I truly love my body, eating healthily will come naturally and doing physical activities will be something that I will look forward to. I know it will be hard, but I am worth the effort and work and time.

GOAL #8: Be consistent with my cycle tracking

Nakaugalian ko nang mag-track ng period dati pa. Pero ngayon, instead of merely noting my period days, ile-level up ko sya. I will take note of my mood, my energy levels, where am I in the cycle, kung nasa luteal or follicular phase na ba ko, mataas ba ang estrogen or progesterone ko ngayon, etc.

Na-motivate akong gawin ‘to dahil biktima ako ng PMS. Ngayon ko sobrang naintindihan na throughout the menstual cycle, may fluctuation of hormones na nangyayari, which results to fluctuating moods and energy. So kung aware ako kung nasang phase na ko ng cycle ko, I will try to match the intensity of my activities depending on which phase I’m currently in. Or I can expect na baka malungkot ako sa mga days na ‘to—para hindi ako nalo-lost. Meron ding foods na bagay for each phase so pwede kong i-plan yung kakainin ko to match my current state.

I decided na aralin ‘to kasi since every month ko ‘tong pinagdadaanan, I think worth it at helpful ko syang alamin. May libro akong binabasa to help me with this. Di ko masyadong gusto yung writing style nung author kasi may pagka-cringy pero nagfo-focus na lang ako sa content nung book.

PS: Kung ang women ay may 28-day cycle (on average), men have only 24 hours. Mataas ang testosterone levels nila sa umaga (more energy) and it declines throughout the day. Kaya perfect sa kanila ang standard workday. Unfair. Kaya rin mas na-motivate akong gamayin ang hormonal cycle ko to somehow take control.

Women’s bodies are not so perfectly compatible with the way society has been constructed, which is not shocking when the world is designed by men, for men. The standard workday and job require people to have a sustained level of energy every day, which just so happens to work seamlessly with the male hormone cycle.

Lauren Wisgard | A Comparison of the Female vs Male Hormonal Cycle

GOAL #9: Manage my energy well

Ngayong tumatanda na ko, pansin kong ambilis ma-deplete ng energy ko. Both physical and mental energy. So tina-try kong iwasan yung mga energy suckers (can be people or certain activities). Lalo na yung mga energy suckers na hindi ko naman kina-eenjoy. Sample dito yung pagbabasa ng libro tapos malalaman kong after a few pages, hindi pala kami compatible nung book. Kung hindi ako nag-eenjoy, hindi sya worth it na tapusin.

FINANCES

GOAL #10: Get a job

Still in the process at nagkakaron naman ng linaw pero wala pa sa ngayon. Ang tagal akong tawagan. Atat na atat na kong maglagay ng funds sa travel budget namin.

GOAL #11: Invest $25k

Haha nag times five bigla this year. I don’t think ma-aachieve ‘to pero pwede namang subukan.

GOAL #12: No new gadgets this year

Sabi ko last year hindi ako magpapa-tempt sa iPhone 14. Yung 15 na lang ang hihintayin ko. Pero since mukang madaming kagastusan this year, magpa-pass ulit ako. Sa 2025 na lang siguro.

GOAL #13: Don’t get a postpaid plan

For how many years, naka-postpaid plan ako. Late last year, nag-switch ako to prepaid. Kasi hindi ko naman talaga nasusulit yung unlimited data ko dahil andito lang kami sa bahay 90-95% of the time. Kinuha ko yung lowest prepaid combo na $15 kaya medyo malaki ang matitipid namin sa phone bills. Tapos gusto ko rin yung thought na pag lalabas kami, wala akong data so mapipilitan akong tumingin sa paligid, interact more, or magbasa habang nasa byahe. I’m super happy with this decision.

Yun.