January 2020 – Gleniz da Menace

Ang laki talaga ng naitutulong nitong blog ko na to sa sarili ko. Therapy talaga. Magulo kasi ang isip ko. Para bang yung movie na Inception. Patong patong. Side note: Na-experience ko na yung totoong inception. Nananaginip ako na nananaginip ako. Diba yun yun?

Anyway, absent ako ngayon. Friday ngayon. Kahapon, absent din ako. Nung Monday, absent din ako. Masama naman talaga yung pakiramdam ko tuwing umaga, pero for some weird reason, gagaling na ko after a few hours. Medyo nagguilty ako kasi kinausap na ko ng supervisor ko about absenteeism. Tapos ang dami ko nanamang absent. This week, 2 days lang ang ipinasok ko. Haha. Lagot nanaman. Eh totoo naman kasi talagang nagkakasakit ako anong magagawa ko.

Three days ago, nag-submit kami ng application dun sa apartment na gusto naming lipatan. Hindi pwedeng basta may pambayad ka, ok ka nang tumira dun sa apartment. Kailangan mag-apply. May mga background check pa silang ginagawa. Hanggang ngayon nagaantay pa din kami ng balita. Sobrang magulo simula nung naisip naming mag-decide na lumipat. Patapos na kasi yung contract namin dito sa current apartment. Kaya magulo kasi pabalik balik yung decision namin kung lilipat ba kami o hindi na lang muna. Ang mahal kasi nung mga apartments na magaganda. Etong apartment namin ngayon, ayos naman. Sobrang upgrade eto compared sa apartment namin sa Pinas. Sobrang laki para saming dalwa.

Pero ang pangit lang, since nasa affordable range yung apartment na to, may mga tenants na masasamang loob. Yung landlord na mismo ang nagsabi. May mga tenants daw dito na nagd-drugs. At muka ngang totoo kasi minsan na kaming nawalan ng package. Nung una, pag may nagiiwan ng package sa pinto ng unit namin, wala namang kumukuha. Pero may one time na may kumuha so takot na kaming magpadeliver. Nung nagpa-deliver ako ng cat food (so medyo malaki yung box), pagdating ko, andun naman yung box sa pinto pero wasak yung box. Inattempt nilang buksan. Kung hindi pa nakita nung landlord baka mas wasak pa yun. Eh di try nilang kainin yung cat food.

Isa pang uncomforatable, laging may tumatawag saming pulis. Dito kasi, para sa mga hindi familiar kasi bago lang din sakin to dati, may buzzer. So may parang phone sa labas ng building tapos pag-dial nila ng unit number namin, may tatawag sa cellphone ko. Tapos sasagutin ko at pipindutin yung 9 para mabuksan yung gate at makapasok yung tao na yun sa building. So usually, ang tumatawag lang sakin ay mga delivery people. Nagulat ako na pulis yung kausap ko tapos sabi eh, “This is Winnipeg police. Let us enter into the building.” parang ganun. Eh di may konting kaba kahit alam naman naming wala kaming ginawa. Yun pala, akala eh landlord kami kasi yung unit number namin ay 101. Eh nasa 105 yung landlord. Inassume lang nila na yung first unit ay landlord’s unit. So dun sa mga next na tawag, dini-direct ko sila sa landlord. Hindi ko pinagbubuksan. Malay ko ba baka fake police officer sila so ayaw ko silang pagbuksan. Sabi ko tumawag kayo sa 105. Hanggang sa pag alam kong wala naman kaming delivery, hindi ko na sinasagot. At minsan pa alanganing oras tumatawag. 11 PM or madaling araw. Tapos may one time na may kumatok sa unit namin, pagbukas ni Kenneth, mga pulis na naman! Akala na naman landlord kami. So bukod sa istorbo na lagi na lang kaming tinatawagan ng pulis, nakaka-bother din na bakit may pulis? So for sure may nag-report na may gumagawa ng illegal activities. Kaya naisipan naming lumipat na basta afford.

So meron nga kaming nakita na medyo mahal kasi bago lang yung building tapos maganda yung location. Katabi lang ng grocery store tapos may mga fastfood sa tapat. We’ll see kung maa-approve kami. Kakayanin na lang kahit mahal ng kaunti.

Two days ago, umattend ako ng tinatawang nilang ‘Information Session’. Eto yung parang “mini seminar” at dinidiscuss nila yung program (or course) na gusto mong i-take sa school nila. Namention ko na to previously pero dito, imbis na course ang tawag, program yung tawag nila (Nursing program, IT program). Tapos imbis na subjects, courses yung tawag nila (English course, Math course). So yun. Back to Information Session, yung program na gusto kong i-take ay Digital Media Design. Two-year program sya. May isa nanamang kakaiba dito in terms of college education. Dito, kelangan mong mag-apply para makapasok. As in magsusulat ka ng essay kung bakit ito yung program na napili mo, tapos since Digital Media Design ang pinili ko, magssubmit ako ng mga drawings, paintings, arts and crafts, etc. (portfolio ang tawag). Tapos may deliberation. 40 students lang daw ang tinatanggap nila sa program na to. So medyo scary talaga. Kelangan mong galingan sa portfolio. So yun ang pagkakaabalahan ko sa upcoming weeks. April pa naman yung deadline pero maigi na yung maagap. Kailangang galingan. Dun sa attendees ng Information Session, mag-gauge mo na kung ilan yung applicants na interested dun sa program. Puno yung hall so madaming competition. Kailangang galingan.

Kanina, since absent nga ako ngayon, naka-punta ako dun sa dental appointment ko. Alanganin kasi yung oras ng appointment, 11AM. May sina-suggest na ipagawa sakin since na-chip nga yung ngipin ko nung kumakain ako ng popcorn. Buti hindi ngipin sa unahan. Crown yung gustong ipagawa sakin. Eh ang mahal nun! Yung estimate na binigay sakin nasa $1,100. Php 44,000! Di bale na! Pagtyatyagaan ko na lang na may tumutusok sa side ng dila ko. Ang pointy kase nung ngipin after may natanggal so tumutusok sa gilid ng dila ko. Sobrang hindi komportable. Feeling ko magkakasugat yung dila ko. Eh hindi daw pwedeng pasta lang gusto talaga nila crown. Tapos $1,100?! Di bale na talaga. Hahanap na lang ako ng ibang dentist na willing pasta-an o kaya paguwi kong Pinas dun ko na lang ipapagawa.

Sobrang nagmamasid ako kanina nung nasa labas ako kasi yung dental clinic, malapit lang sa office namin. Hihi. Baka biglang makasalubong ko si sungit-pero-minsan-friendly-pero-parang-fake-friendly-our-team-assistant Ryan. Ngayon ko lang naisip na medyo ang pangit pala nung job title nya na Team Assistant. Kung satin sa Pinas, Assistant Supervisor yun. Pero dito, Team Assistant ang tawag so parang assistant sya ng team. So parang assistant namin sya. Haha. Ang daming kakaiba talaga dito sa Canada.

Ang haba na ng post ko pero gusto ko lang idagdag na sobrang nakakatawa yung binabasa ko ngayon:

Favorite ko na si Ali Wong talaga. Sobrang walang pretentions sa katawan. Ang vulgar minsan ng humor nya pero okay pa din. Stand up comedian sya pero una ko syang napanood dun sa movie nya na Alway Be My Maybe. Nung nakita ko sya dun naisip ko, “Sino kaya tong artista na to at pumayag si Keanu Reeves na magpa-kiss sa kanya?” Hindi ko sya masyadong gusto dun sa movie. Sya ata yung nagsulat at nagproduce nung movie na yun. Pero nung napanood ko sya dun sa Netflix special nya na Hard Knock Wife, sobrang tawang tawang tawa talaga ako! As in sobra. Yung Netflix special ni Aziz Ansari ang dami ko nang tawa pero kay Ali Wong talaga extreme! Kahit hindi naman ako super maka-relate kasi puro mom and pregnancy jokes yung kanya, halakhak talaga ako.

So yun lang. 2 AM na pala. Ang aga ko kasing nakatulog kanina, 8 PM, tapos nagising ako ng 11 PM. Gigisingin ko na si Kenneth at nakatulog na sa salas panonood ng Mandalorian. Goodnights!

Dumating na yung pinakahihintay kong January 2. Pero nung December 31 pa lang, I feel so much better already. Nung tinitingnan ko yung mga New Year photos especially ng mga kapamilya ko, ang saya ko for them. Kita kong nageenjoy sila. May konting sadness kase syempre mas ok na nandun ako; pero walang bitterness. Unlike nung Pasko. Pero nung New Year ang light sa feeling tapos natutuwa akong tingnan yung mga pics ng mga tao. I’m so happy na na-reach ko na din yung state of mind ko na to. Sana wala nang balikan.

Siguro ang isa pa, pag talagang may mga bagay na nillook forward ka, it gives you a purpose. Hindi naman yung tipong very deep na purpose in life. A purpose to go on. Move on. It refrains myself from thinking unnecessary and unhealthy thoughts. So eto yung mga bagay na nillook forward ko as of the moment:

Book club discussion tomorrow. This will be our 4th book discussion and even though hindi consistent yung mga participants, I’m glad that this is still going on. I think I’ll just have to brainstorm to make it more interesting for them I guess? Because I notice in every book discussion, it involves a different set of people. Wala yung consistent na joiner talaga. But at the same time, I think it’s not my job to actually keep them engaged. Kung talagang trip nila tong trip ko, hindi ko na sila kelangan pilitin or laging i-remind. They will just join kase gusto nila. So I’ll just leave it at that. I’m still glad that the book club inspired a lot of people to read again and rekindle their relationship with books.
New podcast episode. It’s a New Year episode obviously. Medyo seryoso yung pinagusapan namin kahapon so looking forward akong i-edit yung recording. Hindi kami vocal ni Nick in terms of how valuable our friendship is, but I really want to thank him for still being virtually present in my life kahit malayo na ako. I think it’s more tricky to maintain connection if it’s a guy friend kasi hindi naman sila madaldal and ma-chat. This podcast acted as a bridge between us two and actually brought us closer. So good luck Nick! I hope your wish will come true on March.
Philippines. I will visit our home country a month from now. Super excited and nawala na yung stress ko about the pasalubong nonsense. I’m putting too much pressure on myself. And I want to thank Aryan for lending her ears (pero eyes talaga kase sa chat). Nawala yung weight ng worries ko after talking to her. I have resigned to the fact that I can’t do anything about what my folks will say if I can’t give them mega pasalubong and all that shit. I will just be comfortable in the fact that this is the reality. The reality being: we’re broke. Broke in the sense that we can’t afford to buy expensive pasalubong for everyone the same way as my uncles used to give us pasalubong when they visit PH before until now. So I’ll just let it be.
I’m looking forward for my friends’ milestones in life as well. Aryen’s exam result (I’m sure she’ll pass), Gel’s wedding this year, Aryan and Hudas’ reunion, Bogs’ health and future baby, Dany having a new baby soon, Benson’s mansion and Dale’s plan to go to Canada.
More years with Kenneth. In the past few months, I notice a change in our dynamic. We are getting along better than ever. I believe it started after my surgery. Sobrang amazing nung recovery period ko kasi never kaming nag-away. Walang inisan, hindi ako naiirita sa kanya, hindi sya badtrip. Basta parang magic. Kelangan ko pa palang ma-operahan para ma-reach namin yung ganun. So when that happened, I noticed it right away. I didn’t want to say anything to him for fear of jinxing it. And I said to myself that we have to maintain this momentum. On my part, I know what I have to do. I have to have more patience and I have to control my temper. So that I did. There are times where I can’t help it but at least I’m watching myself now.
I have to prepare my sticker orders now but I’m also looking forward to my career. It’s still murky and uncertain but I’m excited. As I’ve said on our podcast, my theme for this year and the years to come is discipline. Several times, I find myself mindlessly scrolling through Instagram, watching Youtube videos non-stop, and I just really have to stop. So discipline. And self-control. Less overthinking. More value.