My 19 Year-Old Playlist

Many years ago, after getting my first iPhone, pinamana ko yung iPod Touch ko kay Illysa (my cousin) because I figured hindi ko naman kailangan both at the same time. But now that she’s no longer using it, I retrieved it for nostalgia purposes (buti na lang hindi nya naiwala or tinapon). Nung binigay ko yun sa kanya back in 2016, ang tanging hiling ko lang ay wag syang magbura ng photos. Thankfully, she didn’t delete them all and I was happy to see some of those old photos again.

Ang isa ko pang favourite nung kinakalikot ko yung iPod Touch ay yung playlist ko. It was untouched and excellently preserved. Nung first time ko ulit syang pinakinggan, grabe yung nostalgia. I started building that playlist around 2006 (iPod shuffle days—I was in first year college) so ang daming emo songs. Habang pinapakinggan ko ulit, naaalala ko yung teenage years ko: nag-iiyak or nagda-drama habang background music yung mga yun. Natatawa ako ngayon habang na-iimagine ko.

It’s funny how the same songs that made you so emotional way back when, bring so much good vibes after almost two decades (I use them as my morning boost while taking a shower). What I felt during those years was real pain, pero ngayon, as if walang nangyari. Hindi ko na sya dala-dala. It’s as if the songs absorbed my past aches, and hearing the songs now feels like a testament to how I got through my adolescence. (I know that everything gets better with time, but the songs were a tangible reminder.)

Listening to the fun songs was the opposite experience though. Unlike the senti songs that encapsulated my sorrows and sealed them away, the happy songs were effervescent. Up until now, they are radiating waves of joyous vigor, which enchantingly occupies me. (Wow ang poetic ko dun.)

“Ah, music,” he said, wiping his eyes. “A magic beyond all we do here!”

Albus Dumbledore

Hanggang sa muli!

PS: I wasn’t familiar with your game, Kate McKinnon