Adult Friendships

I read this New Yorker article about friendship, ‘The Trouble with Friends’. Feeling ko, it was a reality check. Narealize ko, my hope and aim for friendships were too idealistic and childlike. Ang nakatatak sa utak ko, “Gusto ko lang naman ng someone ngayon kung pano kami ng grade school bestfriends ko noon.” Yung updated kami with every single little ganap ng isa’t isa. Yung tanggap namin yung pettiness, we talk every single day, walang nakikipag-compete, we want to hangout as much as possible, etc.

For some naive reason, I still hope for this kind of friendship. But this article opened my eyes to the truth: adult friendships are just different. Old friendships won’t be as tight-knit as before, and some will just slowly falter. Your friends, no matter how inseparable you were, and no matter how close you are until now, will end up in different geographic locations—ako pa nga yung isa sa mga unang umalis, so ano bang nirereklamo ko?

All of us will have newer and bigger priorities. I think I just have to accept the uncertainties of adult friendships. To just take and accept what it can give. To weaken my expectations and no longer see it as a sad, unfortunate truth. It’s just that friendships were one of the biggest parts of my life during my younger years, and it seemed like for many years, I wasn’t ready to let it go just yet. I wasn’t ready to shrink its share in the pie chart of my life. But after reading the article, now I think I’m ready—the tears pooling at the brim of my eyes as I’m typing this might say otherwise, but I guess it’s just the pain that acceptance brings. But still, I wouldn’t mind being proven otherwise though.

I loved what the author observed when she witnessed two students happily talking about their afternoon picnic plans at Central Park:

I was reminded that,
though most friendships are temporary,
they are very beautiful in bloom.

And I was reminded of the friendships I have and had, when they were still blooming. Though now memories, it doesn’t make it any less special.

Now off to newer, bigger—and equally special—adult things.