I miss hearing Kenneth say, “Wowwww..” everytime nagluluto ako. Medyo nakukulitan pa ko sa kanya dati kasi araw-araw nya kong tinatanong, “Anong pagkain natin?” Pero ngayon, wala nang nagtatanong ng ganun. Nami-miss ko yung dependency nya sakin pagdating sa food. Yung dating annoying, hinahanap-hanap ko na ngayon. Ugh life.
Nag-gain nanaman ako. And for the first time ever, mas magaan na sakin si Kenneth. Almost 10kg na kasi yung na-lose nya ever since nagstart syang mag-keto diet at mag-workout almost everyday. Ugghh hindi ko kaya yung discipline nya. Minsan nakaka-inspire pero minsan nakaka-demotivate. But ultimately, I’m proud of him because he did this all by himself. Walang nag-push or nag-pressure sa kanya. Nanood lang kami nung docuseries sa Netflix na You Are What You Eat at yun na! Bigla na lang syang nag-decide maging healthy. That was 6 months ago and he never stopped. Hays, sana kaya ko din yung ganun.
After a couple of months, ngayon ko lang na-process yung reaction ng tito at tita ko nung sinabi kong nas-stress ako sa paglipat namin sa Calgary. It stuck with me kasi na-wirdohan ako sa reaction nila. Para kasi silang nagulat (with a mix of derision) nung sinabi ko na nakaka-stress yung paglipat—na parang unheard of sa kanila yung feelings of stress and anxiety when moving from one place to another.
Na-appreciate ko yung “Happy wedding anniversary” greetings sa family group chat without a single comment about pagkakaron ng anak. At kung naglalaro man yun sa isip nila, I still appreciate that they held their tongues (or thumbs). It’s just so refreshing. There’s hope! Boomers are learning!!
Nalaman ko na nagbabasa pala ng blog ko ang mga tita ko. Hello Ate Bengsya and Ate Gigi (at kung sino pang family member na hindi ako aware) 😅 I didn’t expect na magiging interested silang magbasa ng mga sinusulat ko, kaya naman yung mga bagay na hindi pa dapat nila malaman, nagkakaron na pala sila ng idea. Nakakatawa tuloy yung mga theories nila.
I started drafting this entry nung beginning of June pa lang. Ang saya pa ng tone nung pagkakasulat ko that time. I even claimed this year to be one of the best ones. But after just a month, it went from being one of the best to one of the worst.
May nagtanong sakin dati, bakit ako komportable magkwento dito whether nakakahiya, nakaka-proud, nakaka-conscious, nakakalungkot, etc. Kasi parang ang hirap daw. Bakit daw ang dali lang sakin. Wala akong instant na naisagot. Kasi for the longest time, I just write without actually questioning it.
Halos buong araw nasa bahay lang ako ng lola ko. May pa-going away lunch for Mclein at AJ kasi pabalik na silang Canada. As usual, super iyak ang Mommy hehe.
I have found my people! I am so happy that my choices led me to finding them. I invited my online-to-real friend, Xiao, for brunch to thank her for helping me with Almond’s trip to Canada. Tapos sakto, merong stamp caravan event sa favorite stationery store ko (26 Market)—na malapit lang dun sa brunch place. We went to the stationery store after eating. There, I met a few fellow journalers. One thing led to another, and I got invited to join their bi-weekly planner hangout.
