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Books Food Money Diaries Secrets

What I Spend in a Week | Coloured Book Covers

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It’s time to go back to one of my regular monthly posts. Dahil kahit malungkot tayo, tuloy pa rin ang paggastos—parang mas magastos pa nga pag malungkot.

Before we go to the weekly breakdown, Best Buy and Bye-Bye of the week muna:

Best Buy

This book is so interesting

SOBRANG nag-eenjoy ako dito sa bago kong e-reader. Dahil alam nyo naman na mahilig akong mag-annotate ng books, annotating e-books is the next best thing. Tapos (finally!) may kulay na yung book covers ko. Ang unsatisfying pag nakikita ko yung black and white covers sa Kindle ko noon. Parang hindi binibigyan ng justice yung graphic designer.

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Family Insights Pals Secrets

Thursday Letter #9 | Expectation vs Reality

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Pag meron akong mga kaibigan na nawalan ng mahal sa buhay, I will say my condolences, sincerely let them know that I’m just here, then give them space. Aantayin ko na lang silang mag-message ulit pag ready na silang makipag-interact sa outside world. Pakiramdam ko kasi yun yung kailangan nila. Ayokong mangulit, ayokong maka-bother, feeling ko pag chinat ko sila ng “Kamusta?” baka mainis lang sila at sabihin nila na, “Ano sa tingin mo?” Pero ngayon na nagkaron ako ng isang major loss sa pagkawala ng lola ko, in my case, mas na-aappreciate ko pala yung kinakamusta ako. Hindi ko pala kelangan ng madaming space. Kasi pag nagsolo lang ako with my grief, ang hirap nyang dalhin mag-isa.

On comforting someone experiencing grief:

I hope we can talk about the truth of the loss, not distract them from that. Because that is what’s going to help them.

The excuse of, “I don’t want to make them feel uncomfortable” but you’re actually making them feel uncomfortable by not speaking about what’s there in plain sight. Don’t be afraid to go to hard places.

— Lori Gottlieb | How to Deal with Difficult Emotions During Tough Times to Support Your Family and Friends Effectively, On Purpose podcast

Nagawa ko ‘to nung nawalan ng kapatid yung kaibigan ko. Siguro dahil sobrang close din namin kaya hindi mahirap sakin to “go to hard places” with her. Kahit few months after, or even years after she lost her younger brother, napaguusapan pa rin namin minsan yung pain at sadness nya. At ngayon na nawalan naman ako ng lola, ganun din sya sakin. Sabi ko sa kanya, kahit ang tagal ko nang pinaghahandaan ‘to at alam ko namang matanda na rin ang Mommy, never pa rin akong naging ready nung nangyari na. At yung pinakamasakit, hindi mo makokontrol yung way ng pagkawala nila. Kahit gano mo pa i-wish na sana hindi sila mahirapan, it’s really out of our hands. Na-comfort ako dun sa sinabi nyang, “Kahit alam naman natin na hiram lang ang buhay, ang hirap-hirap pa rin talaga.” Walang paghahanda ang sapat pag realidad na ang kaharap natin.

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Books Family Hobbies Secrets

Life Updates | Coping Mechanisms

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1.

Nung nagkasakit ang Mama, thankful ako sa music ni Chappell Roan. Hindi dahil sa nakaka-relate ako sa mga kanta nya, sobrang ganda lang talaga nung ni-release nyang album. Nakaka-soothe (isa sa mga proof na may healing properties talaga ang music). Basta pag nakakapakinig ako ng music ni Chappell Roan, naaalala ko yung malungkot na moment na yun at kung pano ko sya kinaya.

Ngayong nawala naman ang Mommy, naaaliw akong makinig sa SB19 (thanks Kat sister). Tinatawanan ako ng mga pinsan ko na K-pop fans. Sabi pa ni Isabelle, hindi raw nya gusto kasi mga muka daw maaasim. Hahaha! Basta feeling ko nababaduyan sila sakin. Eh may pagkahilig naman talaga ko sa mga baduy (e.g. Aegis). Basta magaling, kahit baduy, na-aappreciate ko. As in kung may pagkakataon, a-attend talaga ko ng concert nila. Pupunta nga dito sa Calgary ang SB19, kaso nasa Pilipinas ako nun. Sayang.

I’m just extra grateful for music nowadays. It helps me function when it’s too overwhelming to move. Music carries the weight of the difficult emotions and transforms them into something more bearable.

Without music, life would be a mistake.

Nietzsche

2.

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Life Secrets

Skincare Haul: Skin Cycling

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I am back home at hanggang ngayon, I’m (expertly) avoiding thoughts about my grandma that’s going to make me breakdown. Nagtataka rin ako bakit hindi ako nagiiyak. Scary. Siguro dahil walang nangangamusta sakin at ayoko ring kamustahin ang sarili ko. Ang lagi lang naman tanong sakin ay, “Kamusta ang lola mo?” So naka-focus yung sagot ko sa kung anong nangyayari sa lola ko.

Gusto ko ring magsulat about something light naman. Ayoko namang every check nyo ng bagong post puro kalungkutan lang ang dala ko. Kaya ngayon, I will share kung ano yung obsession ko recently: skincare. Currently, ito yung mga products na actively kong ginagamit:

Bago ko sya isa-isahin, yes, aware ako na ang OA nya sa dami. Pero hindi ko naman sila ginagamit all at once. Some products I only use on specific days. At dun papasok yung skin cycling. It’s basically rotating skincare products so you can target different concerns without overloading your skin. For me na ang skin concerns ay large pores, signs of aging, and uneven skin texture, skin cycling caught my interest. Merong tatlong routines:

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Family Life Secrets

Saka na Muna

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Life Secrets

(Late) Thursday Letter #8 | Mommy

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Bilis ng mga pangyayari. Shocked pa ko na nasa Pilipinas ako ngayon. Parang may mali. Kasi hindi pa naman talaga ako dapat uuwi. Sa July pa ang grand family reunion namin. Kaso may mga bagay talaga na hindi maiiwasan. Ilang taon ko na rin ‘tong pinaghahandaan kasi matanda na rin ang Mommy (lola ko, nanay ng Mama). May mga times na bigla na lang papasok sa isip ko, pano kung magkasakit ang Mommy ng malala? Dapat ready akong umuwi habang medyo okay pa sya, at kaya ko pa syang alagaan bago sya kunin ng universe. Ayokong uuwi lang ako kung kelan huli na. And with her current health status, kelangan ko na talagang umuwi.

Mommy is not just my lola, second nanay ko talaga sya. Sobrang spoiled naming magkakapatid sa kanya, lalo na nung kami-kami pa lang ang mga apo nila. Kaming dalwa ng Kuya ang kanilang unang apos ng Daddy. Unang apong lalake, unang apong babae. Strict sya at medyo mataray, pero sobrang maalaga at mapagbigay. Punong puno ang childhood memories ko with Mommy. Lagi nya kong kabuntot. Sorry muna sa Mama, pero mas ramdam ko yung presence nya nung bata pa ko. Yung pag inaayusan nya ko ng buhok, yung mga times na sya ang nagpapaligo sakin (which I hate kasi sobra syang magkuskos ng buhok ko), sya rin ang punong abala sa pagpapatahi ng damit ko pag may activity sa school, extra baon, pag-enroll sa piano classes, pagkuha ng Math tutor, sobrang involved nya sa lahat ng aspeto ng buhay ko. Since medyo bata ang Mama nung nabuntis sya samin, nado-dominate ng Mommy noon yung pagpapalaki samin. Kaya pag sinabi kong ang Mommy ang pangalwang ina namin, I say it in the most literal sense.

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Free Posts Happy Things Secrets

“Ang Lalandi Nyo!”

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Super kinilig ako nung dumating si Kenneth from his 3-week vacation. Pagbigyan nyo na ko dahil minsan lang kami ganito. Kasama ko pagsundo sa airport yung isa naming couple friend (thanks for volunteering sa pagsundo kay Kenneth!) Nung tinanong nila ko ng, “Excited ka na?” Nagpakipot pa ko. Sabi ko sa mga pasalubong ni Kenneth ako excited. Pagdating namin sa airport, nakita ko na sya agad. Pagsakay ni Kenneth sa sasakyan, kausap ko si Kosh tapos si Kenneth nakanguso na. Eh parang nahiya naman ako na kinakausap pa ko tapos bigla kaming sweet-sweetan sa harap nya. Ilang seconds lang naman tapos pinansin ko na rin si Kenneth. Sabi ko, “Hiii.” tapos sabi nya, “Hiiii.” Tapos parang tinawanan kami nung dalwa. Gusto ko syang i-hug pero ewan ko bakit ba ko nahihiya dun sa dalwa haha.

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Money Diaries Secrets

Q1 Expenses | Magastos Months

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A quarter of the year has passed! Bilis! So instead of the usual weekly spend post, it’s time for our quarterly report. Looking at our numbers always excites me, which is why I’m looking forward to do this overview. Just like last time, I’ll start with the percentages, then move on to the detailed breakdown of the numbers.

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Books Career Insights Life Secrets

I Was Born in the Wrong Era

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Being in my jobless era (once again), ang hirap maramdaman yung usefulness ko. Pinupuntirya nya yung ego ko. Lalo na pag nakikita kong nagta-trabaho si Kenneth? Tapos napapadalas pa yung OT nya these days? Nakaka-guilty. Ang pinipilit kong ipaintindi sa sarili ko, mas napapagaan ko yung araw-araw nya kasi mas may time akong ipagluto sya at mas nakakapaglinis ako ng bahay. But most importantly, may income naman akong natatanggap at naco-contribute. Hindi ako useless. Pero kahit it makes sense na ganito yung setup namin these days, naglalaban yung logic at guilty feelings. I blame Industrial Revolution and capitalism. Bakit pa kasi yun nauso.

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Books French Hobbies Life Pals Secrets

Life Updates | 3 Months in Calgary + Fate and Friendships

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1.

I’m super happy with my current reads. So far, I’ve finished 2 books (Born a Crime and The Omnivore’s Dilemma) and both were easy 5-star reads. My goal each year is to read 1 book a month, and I’m pretty much on track.

Yayy available na sa Libby

Right now, I’m switching it up with fiction and I’m currently reading The Friend Zone by Abby Jimenez. I’m really enjoying it. The kilig is kiliging. People on the internet say that if you love Emily Henry’s books, you’ll probably like Abby Jimenez too—and it looks like they’re right. I’m picky with romance novels so I’m glad to have found another reliable author for my romance fix besides Emily Henry.

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